I bet he comes in French.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
