Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
