I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
