Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
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