It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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