I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
