come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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