im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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