So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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