my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
