I'd wear matching sweaters with you
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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