I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
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