Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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