Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
