Capitaan dildo arrescate!
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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