Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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