Well apparently he's into motor boating.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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