I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
