Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
