The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
