someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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