I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Randomize
