Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
