I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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