He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
