Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
