Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
