Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
You don't make any sense
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