I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
We have started to decorate penises.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I am one with the molecules
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
