What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
