wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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