So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
