Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
