Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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