It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
