she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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