i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
