is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
