the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
