His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
