it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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