He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
