we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
