best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
