i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
