Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
