I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Randomize
