He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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