She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Randomize
