I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
