Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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