Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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