Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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